Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Well.......then do it.



I have voices in my head.  Yeah.  I know.  I think everyone does or maybe i just tell myself that.  I don't know. Either way, I have a new voice.  It's pretty good.  It's not annoying like that, "You're not that good" voice.  And it's not overbearing like that "You should just pull a Hunter Thompson and go nuts" voice.  It's a calm, confident voice that only responds to my ideas.  It's the one that says "Well.......then do it"

I have tons of ideas going on all the time.  Business ideas, book ideas, story lines for movies, crazy generosity moves.  They never amount to anything because the other voices tell me what to do.  "You can't do that. You're only a barber,  No one will ever get behind that.  You're family doesn't do stuff like that."  Now there's a new noise in my head....."Do it.  What would it take to get this idea done? And if you can't do it now, write it down for later.  Don't talk about it until it's done" 

How did that voice appear?  Friends.  Good friends, good books and podcasts.  Fill your mind with great insight and you will leave very little room for nonsense.  I always try to learn from the experts, not my neighbor who hates his job.  Just like you don't take money advice from broke folks, don't take life advice from stagnant wannabes. You have to find the greatness.  I can get you started with these links:

Subscribe, follow , read or download anything these guys offer.


That covers the books and podcasts.  Now you need good friends. I'm lucky to have 2 close, close friends.  One of them is a firefighter who owns 5 multifamily homes.  This guy has looked out for me and taught me about money since 2003.  He really inspired me to be better with my decisions in life.  We were making roughly the same amount of money in 07.  He had 2 houses.  I had 63 pairs of Jordans.  C'mon. I told him i was getting out of debt in 09.  He said, "just do it, stop talking about it." I did it!  He kept me honest because I respected his opinion.  When we talk about ideas, we build instead of deconstruct.  He pushes me to do more and be a better me.  I'd like to think I do the same for him.

My wife has been my single biggest influence in the last 3 years.  She has a great way of looking at things:  If it's been done, then she can do it.  No one is better than anyone so we're all capable of doing anything we want.  It comes down to tenacity and mental toughness.  She has a Phd in both. She doesn't really encourage or shoot me down.  She has a signature, hybrid sort of threat/manifesto that makes me see what the path is and how to rock it.  Priceless.  

The last thing you should do, and I got this from Dave, is ask the people you respect how they do it. There are people doing what you want to do. Buy them lunch or a coffee someday.  Pick their brains. You could get a lesson for $30 instead of a tuition payment.  If your dream is to play in the NBA, they may not be accessible like that, but most successful people are great teachers and passionate mentors.  You'd be surprised how accommodating they'll be.  I do it all the time.

We all have a big idea or dream, well..........then do it!


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Assessors suck! (define your own worth)



They are on the verge of divorce...... again.  This is literally the tenth time this "news" emerged. The man in the relationship asked me to hang out with the woman a couple times, to try to talk to her and make sure she is in her right mind. She is, according to him, probably going to leave him. That's scary, daunting and hurtful. I get it. I told this man I'm no longer for hire in these situations because it never changes and I end up losing sleep over it. I put up those boundaries a couple years back and I intend on keeping them. After we talked a little more, he tells me that according to her, “I'm a piece-of-shit, alcoholic”. I told him he's not a piece-of....... and he should know that by now. He should know who he is and what he's worth. Right then, it hit me hard: he has no idea who he is. All the great things in his life and he still answers to that? He still needs to be persuaded other wise?

Why do we let others define our worth? This question is deeper than a few paragraphs on a blog, but I want you to start asking yourself this question. I want you to describe who you are using a few words on paper. Then pray, meditate, be still, whatever calms your inner-voice down and ask “Are these words true?” There are many people who have it right and who live from the correct context. A lot of us have it all wrong. If I were to describe this man from earlier, I'd use the words strength, dedication, integrity, loyal. I wonder what he would say.


We all get our confidence from something. We get our picture of who we are from past experiences and people's opinions. We screw up all the time and the people we love the most let us know how we're doing. People around us keep score, but what if they didn't? What if we solely took our worth from who God says we are? We are his children, his creation, his delight. We are made for a reason. We are. Get with your God on this one and help define yourself with no influence from your past; no voices telling you who you are.