Well.......then do it.

I have voices in my head.  Yeah.  I know.  I think everyone does or maybe i just tell myself that.  I don't know. Either way, I have a new voice.  It's pretty good.  It's not annoying like that, "You're not that good" voice.  And it's not overbearing like that "You should just pull a Hunter Thompson and go nuts" voice.  It's a calm, confident voice that only responds to my ideas.  It's the one that says "Well.......then do it"

I have tons of ideas going on all the time.  Business ideas, book ideas, story lines for movies, crazy generosity moves.  They never amount to anything because the other voices tell me what to do.  "You can't do that. You're only a barber,  No one will ever get behind that.  You're family doesn't do stuff like that."  Now there's a new noise in my head....."Do it.  What would it take to get this idea done? And if you can't do it now, write it down for later.  Don't talk about it until it's done" 

How did that voice appear?  Friends.  Good friends, good books and podcasts.  Fill your mind with great insight and you will leave very little room for nonsense.  I always try to learn from the experts, not my neighbor who hates his job.  Just like you don't take money advice from broke folks, don't take life advice from stagnant wannabes. You have to find the greatness.  I can get you started with these links:

Subscribe, follow , read or download anything these guys offer.

Dave Ramsey

Seth Godin

Jon Acuff

Andy Stanley

Greg Boyd

That covers the books and podcasts.  Now you need good friends. I'm lucky to have 2 close, close friends.  One of them is a firefighter who owns 5 multifamily homes.  This guy has looked out for me and taught me about money since 2003.  He really inspired me to be better with my decisions in life.  We were making roughly the same amount of money in 07.  He had 2 houses.  I had 63 pairs of Jordans.  C'mon. I told him i was getting out of debt in 09.  He said, "just do it, stop talking about it." I did it!  He kept me honest because I respected his opinion.  When we talk about ideas, we build instead of deconstruct.  He pushes me to do more and be a better me.  I'd like to think I do the same for him.

My wife has been my single biggest influence in the last 3 years.  She has a great way of looking at things:  If it's been done, then she can do it.  No one is better than anyone so we're all capable of doing anything we want.  It comes down to tenacity and mental toughness.  She has a Phd in both. She doesn't really encourage or shoot me down.  She has a signature, hybrid sort of threat/manifesto that makes me see what the path is and how to rock it.  Priceless.  

The last thing you should do, and I got this from Dave, is ask the people you respect how they do it. There are people doing what you want to do. Buy them lunch or a coffee someday.  Pick their brains. You could get a lesson for $30 instead of a tuition payment.  If your dream is to play in the NBA, they may not be accessible like that, but most successful people are great teachers and passionate mentors.  You'd be surprised how accommodating they'll be.  I do it all the time.

We all have a big idea or dream, well..........then do it!

When you're married to your roommate

I've had it out with every single one of my roommates.  No fist fights, but a lot of arguments and a lot of moving out because “this doesn't work anymore”.  I remember this woman Lynne I worked with at my high school job. She told me not to move in with my best friends because we would not be friends after.  How could that happen? Well, when you've done things a certain way your whole life and then someone challenges that, the world stops moving a little bit.

 

My 3rd wedding anniversary is tomorrow!  I have a life-long roommate. It's funny because I had lived on my own for a while; probably about 12 years.  She is smart and lived with her folks until she had enough money to buy a place.  So she's coming from mom and dad's.  I'm coming from 2 years with no roommate at all.  Let's get hitched and live together.......go!  I didn't even know I had strong opinions on where a toaster should go. (Which is near the stove, next to the butter, by the way.)  We battled over that for about 2 years.  And there were at least a dozen other things just like the toaster.  Pretty soon, everyday can be an argument, debate or just giving up ground on something. Your marriage can feel small, tight and trivial.  It feels like you can't win.  It feels like you wanna leave.

 

What we need to ask ourselves is this: Are my problems marriage issues or roommate issues?  

She doesn't trust your word when you're out late......marriage issue.  

He hates the way you file mail.........roommate issue.  

You can't agree on how laundry should be folded.........roommate issue.  

You feel belittled in a lot of situations.........marriage issue.

 

Do you see where I’m going with this?  Pretty crazy what can happen when your ways of doing life collide with each other.  How many breakups and divorces were over roommate issues and general way-of-life challenges?  

 

Whether you're married or just living together, please go through your relationship and write down all your problems.  Sort them into the roommate or marriage issues and remember why you love the other person. It has really helped me. 

There Will Be Another Boat

In Italy, only mongrels eat in public. Well, mongrels and also my wife and I. We did our honeymoon in Amalfi, which is on the southern coast. It's where the laces would be on “the boot”. Beautiful place. My wife's description: “This is how I pictured heaven.” I highly recommend it makes your bucket list.

We planned a day trip to Capri, a small island off the coast. We bought tickets the day before. We looked online at the tourist attractions. We bought a map of the island and sort of set up the day. The only thing we didn't do is set an alarm. Yeah.

The boat leaves at 9, we woke up at 8:30 and it's a 20 minute ride to the dock. Before this starts sounding like a word problem, I’ll just cut to it and say: “No time for breakfast”. So we speed through town on our rented moped, with no showers and no idea if we'll make it. We got to the dock, parked “al italiano”(wherever I want) and ran to the boat. The boat that we saw wasn't even our boat. Our boat hadn’t docked yet. When it did, it was going to unload first so we had 10 minutes at least to grab breakfast.

We walked across the street to a little cafe and ordered 2 cappuccinos and 2 croissants. As the guy is making the coffees, I ask him if we can take it to-go. He looks befuddled, so I point to Styrofoam cups and say “take away”. I wasn't sure if he spoke English. I spoke zero Italian. He figures out what I’m saying and replies with a laugh, “Oh no my friend. You can sit at any of these tables outside. They are all my tables. Please, sit.”

I responded, “I understand, but we have a boat to catch and we are already late. I don't wanna miss that boat.”

He put his hand on my shoulder, smiled as big as I'd ever seen a guy smile and said, “There will be another boat my friend. Sit down and eat”

Great advice from an Italian cafe owner: “There will be another boat.” Enjoy your food. Enjoy your time awake with your spouse. There will be another boat. Don't rush. This food, right here, this is the main thing right now. Sit down, slow down, eat the food and enjoy it.

What else do I rush through? What other joys do I sacrifice or skip for the sake of my precious schedule? What would life be like if I sat and ate all my food instead of cramming bites into my trap while on hold or between clients? Just sitting and enjoying.....Hmmm.......this could alleviate a lot of problems.

By the way, we did not listen to him. We took our cappuccino’s across the street, burnt the crap out of my tongue and ate the croissants to the jeers of the general public.